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August 26, 2007
Ruth Stacy, guest preacher
Words for Meditation

WHERE IS GOD WHEN WE HURT?

For the past several years I have been on a path that I would not have chosen.  Probably many of you have been walking the same path. As we mature we find that many of our friends, family and acquaintances are sick or dying off.  In the course of all that I have come to know people who are dealing with pain—physical, emotional and spiritual pain.  Wanting to help my friends and family, I have become a hospice volunteer and have started a master’s program in grief counseling. These experiences have taught me some things about pain, and some very important things about God, as revealed in Jesus Christ.   Today I want to share with you some of what I have learned. To keep to available time, I shall concentrate on physical pain and how that speaks of God’s love. 

For most creatures, to be alive is to feel pain from time to time.  However, pain is not something anyone really wants.  Our initial question is why did God make pain?  Did God make pain part of life to punish us, or to make us do his will?  To answer that, let’s look at what happens to people who cannot feel pain.  Lepers come to mind immediately.  They do not suffer from some sort of bad flesh disease.  They suffer from deadened nerves—they lose the ability to feel pain.  The result is that they have no early warning system.  They unknowingly abuse their bodies, by overusing their hands and feet, by grasping objects which are too hot, by not noticing when a body part has been injured, even by not blinking their eyes!  In short, it is because of the lack of pain that they suffer multiple injuries to their flesh; it is the result of dead nerves that their bodies deteriorate.  Some diabetics have similar loss of sensation in their feet and legs, leading to amputations when the lack of feeling leads to serious injury.

A friend, who has neither leprosy nor diabetes, almost died early this spring because he had an infection that did not hurt.  He tells about being very busy and putting off a trip to the dentist.  He didn’t feel really well, but he had no pain.  Then early one morning, when he was on a trip with his wife to Fallon for a church meeting and they stayed overnight, she could not awaken him.  She had been a registered nurse and recognized the critical nature of things.  She got others to help her get him into their car, and she drove him as quickly as possible to Reno, to the Emergency Room.  He was admitted; three surgeries were performed on his mouth; seven teeth were extracted; and as much infection as possible was cleaned out.  He hovered for several days in a state where it was not clear whether he would survive, or if he did, whether he would be mentally competent. The infection he had in his mouth traveled under the gum, destroying nerves as it progressed.  He almost died because of not feeling pain. All this indicates that pain is a loving gift of God, a warning system designed to help us survive.

Another frequently asked question is why does God let the bad stuff that causes pain happen?    Of course, pain may be a consequence of our doing something we know we should not do—like drinking too much, driving too fast, using illegal drugs, etc. However, many persons who get sick or injured have not done anything to deserve what has happened to them.  Maybe they inherited genes which left them open to disease, maybe they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, like the firefighters in New York or the rescuing miners in Utah.  Bad things do happen to good people.

The Book of Job, which students say is the oldest book of the Bible, is an exploration of the common belief that misfortune is God’s punishment for bad acts.  Even today some regard success at business as reward for living a life pleasing to God.  This belief is simply the other side of the argument that God sends pain or reward to enforce his will.  In Job God never answered Job’s demand to know why he was suffering, but did chastise his friends for insisting it was God’s punishment for some sin Job had committed. Many years later Jesus made it clear that it is not one’s actions, or one’s parents actions, that lead to misfortune He taught, “God makes the rain fall on the just and the unjust alike.” 

What really is at play is the effect of God’s giving humanity free will.  Free will is a person’s ability to choose good or evil.  God does not manipulate us into being godly or Christ like.  Clearly if every time we spoke a bad word, gossiped about someone, stole something, injured our brother or sister or sinned in some other way, we had pain, we would probably learn to be better behaved. We would be more like other creatures who live by their instincts and do what is characteristic of their species.  But our Creator made us like himself in that we are moral creatures, free to choose good or evil. 

Our choices bring consequences.  For example, if we decide to devote our public wealth to health and education, the quality of life improves for many.  If we chose to devote public wealth to munitions and war, many suffer—for the price of war is much higher than we realize—for ourselves as well as on those we have designated as our enemies.  Thus, pain may be a consequence of how we exercise our free will, or how powerful leaders exercise theirs.  Or on an individual level, it may be an early warning system to tell us something is wrong physically.  But one thing it is not—it is not God’s punishment though it may be a consequence of sinful action somewhere by someone, or the natural result of the rules of creation—like natural catastrophes.

Another crucial question is that when pain comes, how do we deal with it?  Usually our body heals:  our scabs give way to healthy skin, our bruises fade, our temperature returns to normal, and we rejoice and thank God for the miracle of healing.  Some exhibit a heroic recovery, using their experience to become more than they had been before.  For example, Lance Armstrong, who won a record seven Tours de France on his bicycle, was not shy in admitting that it was the lessons won through what the doctors expected to be fatal cancer, that strengthened his character and made him able to be who he is.  But sometimes healing is limited and we are not restored.  I had a friend who as a result of polio, had a withered left arm.  His brilliant mind fixated on his disability, and he became bitter and acerbic until the day he died—interestingly as an IRS agent.

What about when healing isn’t apparent?  Do we continue to pray for healing when healing does not seem possible?  Jesus was able to heal persons of faith; do we pray for sufficient faith that we might be healed?  This approach can add the guilt of a lack of faith to our pain.  Do we say our pain is part of God’s purpose in our lives?  Jesus did say that some suffered in order to show God’s power.  Is that what our pain means?   No one can really answer that question but we have the beautiful example of Joni Eareckson Tada, who became a quadriplegic as a result of a diving accident in her teens. After several years of despair--not being able to even cry or blow her noise by herself, she became a woman of outstanding faith, an artist using a pencil in her mouth to draw, and a powerful speaker and writer.  What happened?  Joni tells of one night when she became convinced God did not understand what she was experiencing—when pain streaked though her back and she was unable to massage her aching muscles or flex the cramp.  A friend reminded Joni of the pain Jesus knew, like her pain, when he was nailed to a cross, with his back raw from beatings, and how he must have yearned for way to move or change his position, or shift his weight to alleviate the collapsing of his chest just to allow him to breathe.  Joni said that she was taken aback as a result of this reminder.  She said she then came to ground zero with God.  God became incredibly close to her, and she found herself being transformed by the persistent love of God and of her family and friends.  She said that the gift she drew from her situation was dependence—dependence on God and on the love and services of her friends and family. If there is a gift in old age, it may well be the gift of dependence on God and others—we no longer can take pride in our self-sufficiency and are forced to realize how dependent we are on God.  The Apostle Paul said that God’s strength is made perfect in weakness; I believe that what Paul meant was just that—when we realize and accept our weakness—our dependence—then we may grow close to our Creator.

Swiss physician and counselor Paul Tournier wrote in old age that he had began to perceive that circumstances, whether fortunate or unfortunate, are morally neutral.  They just are what they are.  What matters is how we respond to them. For him, good and evil in a moral sense, does not reside in things but in persons.

He wrote

Only rarely are we the masters of events, but (along with those who help us) we are responsible for our reactions…suffering is never beautiful in itself, and must always be fought against.  What counts is the way a person reacts in the face of suffering.  That is the real test of the person.  What is our personal attitude to life and its changes and chances?  Here is a man, sick or in the grip of some tragedy, who confides in me:  What is he going to make of the grievous blow that has struck him?  What is his personal reaction going to be?  A positive, active, creative reaction which will develop his person, or a negative one that will stunt it…The right help given at the right moment may determine the course of his life. [Creative Suffering]

 

Tournier likened unforeseen calamities to a nutcracker—a force that can break through the hard outer shell of personal security.  The breaking will cause pain of course, but it need not destroy.  The role of medical personnel or of the loving friend is to keep the nutcracker of circumstances from destroying and to help the sufferer see that even the worst hardships open up the potential for growth and development. 

Martin Luther King, Jr., taught that “Christianity has always insisted that the cross we bear precedes the crown we wear.”  This is not true in the sense that taking on a cross earns gold stars somewhere in heaven that justifies the crown. The soul, which has gained experience by being forced to depend on God, becomes capable of exhibiting the love and humility that is the consequence of that dependence.

It is in this sense that we can understand the Beatitudes.  Jesus taught that the world as seen from God’s viewpoint is tilted in favor of the poor and the oppressed.  What makes the weak so deserving of God’s concern?

Suffering is a great equalizer which brings us to a point where we may realize our urgent need for redemption.  We can realize our dependence on God.  Those who suffer rest their security not on things but rather on people.  The suffering have no exaggerated sense of their own importance or of a great need for privacy; they are humble.  They expect little from competition and much from cooperation.  Suffering helps us distinguish between necessities and luxuries.  Suffering teaches patience and the difference between valid and exaggerated fears.  To those who are suffering the gospel sounds like good news and offers hope and comfort. Those who have so little to lose can respond to the call of the gospel totally, with abandonment.  [Monica Hellwig]

Where is God when we hurt?  The answer is that God is with us whether we realize it or not. God understands our pain, because through the suffering of Jesus, the Incarnation, God himself has experienced human suffering.  God does not take away our pain; he makes it bearable and gives it meaning and the hope of his eternal presence.

How do we help those who hurt?  The question is the same as how do we love.  We don’t have to be a theologian, or a pastor, or a wise person.      We simply have to be available--to listen, to bring a glass of water, to stroke or hold a hand or to rub a back.  The English have an expression for this kind of love.  It is to stand at the foot of another’s cross, as the women stood at the foot of Jesus’ cross.

We can use the experience of our own suffering, as a wounded healer—not in telling someone that we know how they feel, but in knowing how pain feels and in knowing that the one who hurts yearns to feel the grace of God.  If the person is open to exploring the nature of God’s love and forgiveness, we can bring that assurance.  Many need to find meaning and hope in their suffering. We can talk of the pain as temporary and the meaning that God is with them and understands how they feel.

Pain is a necessary part of life.  It is not to be sought, but once it comes, we may let it fill our lives, or we may focus our life elsewhere, using the pain to grow in closeness to God, in Christian love and understanding.  As the church, we can be there for those who suffer and bring our own presence and love to the one who suffers.    

I want to close with a prayer that Erv and Ruth wrote as we entered this new year; truly it applies at all times:

May God make our year a happy one!

Not by shielding us from all sorrows and pain,

But by strengthening us to bear it, as it comes,

Not by making our path easy,

But by making us sturdy to travel any path;

Not by taking our hardships from us,

But by taking fear from our heart;

Not by granting us unbroken sunshine,

But by keeping our faces bright, even in the shadows,

Not by making our lives always pleasant,

But by showing us when people and their causes need us most,

And by making us anxious to be there to help.

God’s love, peace, hope and joy to us all for the year ahead!

Come, Holy Spirit.  Be with us today and always.  Amen.

         

--  With many thanks to Phillip Yancey, Where Is God When It Hurts.

 

 

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